Ron Tries Hypnosis
by shegal92
Summary: Requested by Boris Yeltsin. Ron orders a kit to try his hand at hypnosis. Unbeknownst to him, there was a mix-up at the factory, and he's in possession of an ancient artifact belonging to the malevolent Marloe the Magnificent. Rated T just to be safe.


Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except Marloe the Magnificent.

Ron wasn't stupid. He may be easily entertained and not have the best grades in class and not get a joke until the next day, but he wasn't stupid. He was average.

Late one night, staring blankly at a show he was recording for Hana, he was gullible from sleep deprivation.

"Hey, kids! Do you want to amaze and astound your friends?" An ominous narrarator asked to an undetermined audience. Ron snorted.

"Have you met Kim Possible?" He asked.

"Do you want to baffle those friends that seem unbaffleable?" Ron perked up.

"Now you're talking!" He praised.

"Do you want to change yourself? Become Mr. Machoman? To get hot chicks?" He jumped to his feet.

"Yes, yes, and really yes!"

"Then get your Mr. Mysterio's Hypno-palooza kit! Follow the simple instructions included and in no time, you'll have everyone's will power in your hands. You'll get all of this for one low payment of $39.99," and then in a quieter voice, "Plus shipping and handling. Warning: May cause eyestrain, seizures, heart attacks, mood swings, irregular behavior, eccentric dancing, uncontrolled body movement, hair loss, hair gain, weight gain, weight loss, insomnia, accidents and, in some severe cases, death and/or primate noises."

Ron was dialing the number at the bottom of the screen before the warnings even started, his parent's credit card in hand.

**Six to Eight Weeks Later**

Ron crouched, poised near the windowsill. A plump man meandered down the road, dressed in a postal uniform, a brown messenger bag stuffed with mail at his side. He whistled as he walked along, approaching the Stoppable's mailbox. He looked at the package in his hand.

Before the mail man knew what hit him, a wide-eyed Ron was in front of him. The mail man screamed.

"Gimme!" Ron shouted, ripping the package from his hands and darting back inside the house.

The mail man threw down his messenger bag.

"THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! ALL THESE EAGER KIDS SCARING ME TO DEATH EVERYTIME THEY GET A PACKAGE! I HAVE A WEAK HEART, DOGGONEIT!" He went running down the street, tearing at his uniform and leaving the rest of the mail undelivered.

**III**

"All right, you two. You shall be first to witness my newfound power," he said to his gathered audience on the couch. Rufus muttered something that sounded like "oh brother". Hana gave a delighted squeal and clapped, almost as if she were applauding her older brother. Ron smiled at her.

He pulled the medallion out from his pocket. It looked almost sinister at first, until you noticed that the gold filigree and chain were spray-painted tin and the blood-red ruby was nothing more than a smooth faux jewel, the kind you found in little girl's dollar store jewelry. Ron looked proudly at it and began to swing it back and forth. He glanced down at the instructions.

"Step 2: Tell your participants to watch the talisman. Tell them that they are getting sleepy," Ron watched the talisman, "Watch the talisman. They are getting sleepy," Ron yawned, as did Rufus. Hana's attention, however, was on something on the ceiling.

"Step 3," Ron yawned, "Tell them to go to sleep. Tell them that when they awake by a predetermined action on your part, then they shall do your bidding. Go to sleep," Ron and Rufus both passed out.

Hana glanced at the sparkling talisman. She crawled over to it and picked it up. She cooed and grinned as she whipped it around. It would be a good hour and a half before she would clap excitedly and awake her brother and his pet.

**III**

"The production rates have been through the roof," Mr. Stanley announced as they walked through the factory, "We've barely been able to keep up with the demand."

He glanced at his companion. She didn't seem interested in his good news. Actually, she looked bored with the entire ordeal. She was pretty, but he wouldn't call her beautiful. She had long platinum blonde hair that went to her diaphragm. She was wearing a white long sleeve blouse, a black blazer, and a black bowtie. Her black shorts went to her knees and were made out of slacks material. An albino rabbit hopped alongside her, heeled to her side without force. He didn't dare tell Marloe the Magnificent animals were not allowed in the factory.

Marloe didn't give a care if her latest business venture was successful or falling flat on its face. It was just something to do while she was finishing up her community service. She glanced down at Big Al. He looked up at her questioningly, glancing at Mr. Stanley. She nodded. He seemed a little on edge to her, too.

They came into a small room. The single light in the room illuminated a glass case. Marloe and Big Al grinned.

"We're finished with the original," Mr. Stanley said.

"Finally," Marloe huffed. She went over to the glass case. The lock snapped open without her so much as touching it, "My precious," she imitated Smeagle's voice and then laughed at herself. She picked up the talisman.

Her smile turned into a frown.

"All right, Stanley, you've got five seconds to tell me where my talisman _really_ is," she hissed. Mr. Stanley took a deep breath.

"We regret to inform you that, during the copying of the talisman, one of our employees mixed up yours with one of the...copies," Marloe shrugged.

"Accidents happen, I guess," Mr. Stanley smiled with relief.

"Your check is in the mail," he assured her. Marloe shook her head.

"I didn't say I forgave you. Do you have any idea what I went through to get that?" She dropped the fake talisman onto the ground. Big Al sniffed it and then growled, "I joined a cult just to steal it, and then had to kill all the members to keep it, for starters."

"We, we know what, what order number it was," Mr. Stanley offered. Marloe smirked agreeably.

"Well, that's good. Is it in your database?"

"...Yes."

"No need for a lazy slob like you then," she laughed. Mr. Stanley's eyes widened.

An employee passing by heard Mr. Stanley's screams of "NO! NO! NO!" and then his screams of anguish. He hesitated, but finally decided to open the door. A lovely young lady glanced up at him and flashed him a brilliant smile.

"Hey, could I look at the database for a minute? There's an order I need to track."

"Sure, no problem," he then glanced down. Behind the woman was what was left of Mr. Stanley, torn into shreds and gutted like an animal had gotten to it. A small albino rabbit sat in the midst of his remains, nibbling innocently on a rib. Marloe glanced behind her as though noticing the corpse for the first time.

"Oh, my," she said innocently, her Brooklyn accent very pronounced, "Looks like an accident happened here. Now, about that order..."

The employee decided to ignore the slaughter, suspecting that somehow the blonde was behind it. He did not want to be the next victim. The woman followed him, acting completely normal, her blood stained rabbit hopping innocently beside her.

**III **

"KP!" Kim looked towards Ron and then wished she hadn't. Whenever Ron was holding a manual, it meant a new half-baked obsession was just coming out of the oven.

"What's that for?" She asked blandly. Ron grinned evilly and pulled some kind of necklace out of his pocket. He began swinging it back and forth.

"Watch the talisman. Watch it. Are you watching it?"

"Yes, Ron, I'm watching it."

"You are getting sleepy, sleeeeepy, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy," Kim watched it with a glazed look. Ron grinned. Success, "Now, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up and do everything I say," The bell rang just then.

"I have to get to class now," Kim walked away.

"Wait! I didn't wake you up!" Ron objected. He sighed. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this hypnosis thing after all.

He tried hypnotizing everyone that day, even Bonnie and Mr. Barkin. All it got him was a "Get away from me, you freak!" and detention. He went home dejected that night. Hana cheered happily from her mother's arms as her big brother came into the room.

"Could you take her for a few minutes?" Mrs. Stoppable asked, a haggard expression on her face.

"'Course, Mom," Ron scooped up his sister and Mrs. Stoppable left the living room.

Hana cooed questioningly as she reached for the talisman. Ron had put it around his neck in an attempt to use it as bling. Her small fingers wound into the chain and she gurgled happily. Unable to deny her, he took the talisman off of himself.

"Here, Hana, you can have it. I can't make it work," he admitted. She squealed happily, clutching the present. It glowed slightly in her possession, pulsating like a beacon, "See? I never got it to do that…" he whined.

**III**

A van pulled into Middleton that night, painted to look like space with all the stars and planets swirling around the galaxy. In a bold red font, "Marloe the Magnificent" was painted on the side, her business number beneath it in smaller letters with her slogan "You will believe". It parked about a block away from the Stoppable residence on the shoulder, the engine shutting off.

Marloe clucked her tongue. Big Al, who had been passed out in the passenger's seat, jolted awake, hopping into his mistress's lap. She stroked him a few times.

"Fetch." She murmured, opening the door. He hopped down, dashing across the lawn and through the fence. He hopped up onto a window sill, then down into the room.

Hana dozed in her crib, the medallion clutched in her hands. His nose twitched as he tensed up, before leaping through the air and landing softly beside her. He padded, curling his lips back to bear his fangs. He was about to bite into her throat when the medallion glowed, knocking him back against the wall. He snarled before retreating back out the window.

**III**

"So, no luck with the Houdini thing?"

"First of all, Houdini didn't do hypnosis on weekdays. Second, no…" He muttered, "Hana seemed to like it, though."

Ron picked at his blob that was supposed to be some kind of potatoes, but he was pretty sure potatoes weren't normally gray… Kim nibbled at the limp salad, frowning at Ron's distress. He had really wanted that silly kit to work…

Before she could offer encouragement, her Kimmunicator went off. She pulled it out.

"Hey Wade," she greeted. Wade was frowning, which tipped her off immediately that this wasn't a run-of-the-mill villain scheme.

"I know we usually refer violent crimes to the police…but this isn't a normal sitch," he warned. Ron scooted over to look over Kim's shoulder.

"How violent's violent?" Wade hesitated a moment.

"An employee at Stinky Peter's Novelties reported a homicide of one of their top managers." A murder? Kim shifted uneasily.

"I don't know, Wade… I think this kind of stuff is out of our jurisdiction." He shook his head.

"Unfortunately, this case is close to home," he cleared his throat, "The suspect went on to break into the database to track an order."

"What order?"

"One Mr. Mysterio's Hypno-palooza kit, sent to Middleton."

"Our Middleton?" Ron asked.

"Your house," Wade said. Butterflies flew around in Kim's stomach, and not the kind Ron gave her.

"Thanks Wade," she said hastily before hanging up and dialing Ron's home number.

Two long rings before the phone was picked up.

"Kim Possible," A soft Brooklyn accent stated, "I was wondering when you were going to call. It's not that I don't want to chat with you, hon, but I really need to talk business with your boy Ron."

"…okay," she murmured, before handing Ron the Kimmunicator, exchanging worried expressions. He cleared his throat.

"Okay, it's me."

"Hello, Ron," He couldn't see her expression, but he could hear the smile in her voice, "You have quite the cute little sister… Imported?" Ron grit his teeth.

"Leave Hana alone," he growled. The woman chuckled.

"I'll leave her alone. I don't know about Big Al, though…" There was a sound similar to that of a rabid wolf in the background, and Ron could hear Hana's soft whimpers. He hung up, getting to his feet. Kim was right behind him.

**III**

Ron doubted Kim had ever driven so fast in her life, including the Motor Ed and Shego fiasco. Mom's car was oddly missing from the driveway, causing Ron's heart to skip a few beats.

It was silent in the house, except for Hana's soft whimpering coming from the nursery. They charged up the stairs, and found the door wide open. Hana was in the corner of her crib holding tightly to her new necklace, cowering at the sight of a…bunny. An albino bunny next to her crib, its little whiskers quivering.

"Glad you could come help us sort this out," A woman drawled from the rocking chair.

They turned to see her dressed in a magician's costume, complete with top hat. Her gloved hands toyed with a medallion that looked identical to Hana's.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Ron spat. She smirked.

"Fair enough questions," she swung the chain around her finger lazily, "I am Marloe the Magnificent, but you can shorten it to just Marloe if you like. As to why I'm here… Mister Mysterio got mixed up with the packaging. You see, the kits are based off of my original medallion, and they boxed it up and shipped it to you on accident," she caught it, holding it still, "I want to trade, that's all, get mine back. I can even get you a refund if you like."

That was it? The whole creeper act was just over some jewelry? No big. Ron walked over to the crib.

"Han, you need to give big brother your bling. We're just going to trade it for another one, okay?"

"NO!" She screeched. He sighed.

"The nice lady has one exactly identical to yours-" She shook her head rapidly, pressing further into the corner of her crib.

The ruby in the center pulsed. Ron frowned.

"What's so special about the original, anyway? Besides the fact it was yours."

"It was my great-grandmother's. Precious metal and gemstone, yanno, monetary stuff." Marloe replied simply.

Hana usually wasn't this stubborn about toys and if she was, she didn't act so…terrified. There must've been a reason for her to act this way, and normal rubies didn't glow like that.

"Ron, just take it from her," Kim's voice wavered, "We'll just trade it and then Marloe will be on her way…right?"

"Right."

Ron looked into Hana's eyes, then set his jaw determinedly.

"No."

"No?"

"No." Marloe sighed, standing up.

"Alright, tried to do it the good guy way, but I guess it doesn't work. Sic her, Big Al."

The bunny perked up, then started spasming, bones snapping and contorting. The bunny started doubling, then tripling in size, until its ears were brushing the ceiling. The atrocity could only be described as some sort of demented were-rabbit, looming over Hana's crib. Ron kicked the gate down and lunged for Hana.

Claws scraped against Ron's back as he yelped in pain, grabbing onto Hana and squirming away. The thing roared at him, and he couldn't help but notice the unusually sharp teeth in Big Al's mouth.

Kim spun around to face Marloe, who was adjusting the cuffs of her jacket.

"Looks like I'm going to have to pull something out of my sleeves," she sighed, before jerking her arm in a slashing motion.

A throwing knife flew out of thin air, missing Kim by less than an inch. Marloe repeated the gesture, catching Kim's clothes and pinning her to the wall. Kim tried to pry them out, but they were stuck tight. Marloe approached Kim, throwing the medallion up in the air. It transformed into a small revolver when it landed in her palm.

"I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of people favors by killing you, ginger," she mused, "Least you don't have to watch your beau and the little one die."

Big Al swiped again at Ron, but he dodged. Hana's face twisted up as she squealed in anger, holding up the true medallion. The ruby burned and then a black streak of lightening hit Big Al square in the chest. He screamed, falling back and onto the ground. He started to shrink, twitching violently.

Marloe spun around and gasped.

"Al!" She quickly scooped the lapine, who was whimpering lightly. She glared at Ron and Hana, tossing her top hat onto the ground.

"Oh, you'll pay for this, and I'll get what I rightfully stole back," she snarled, before leaping.

Ron braced for an attack, but she merely jumped into the hat, disappearing from view. The top hat fell to its side, abandoned and useless.

**III**

"Alright, this time I've got it!" Ron declared, his eyes covered by his hand. Kim smirked, letting Hana play with her bracelets.

He swung the medallion back and forth.

"You are getting sleepy…sleeeepy…sleeeeeeeeepy," Kim yawned, "Yes! Perfect! Alright, so go to sleep now. When I wake you up with um, uh… the Girl Scout squirrel call, you'll be under my control until I do it again." He decided, peaking through his fingers. They were both asleep! Success!

He set the medallion down, uncovering his eyes fully. He cleared his throat and then gave the call. They stirred slowly.

"Hey Kim, you feel like getting me a naco?" He asked slyly. Kim's glazed eyes glanced at him and she nodded absentmindedly. Hana tottered after her.

Ron beamed. Oh yes, he had done it. He had successfully hypnotized his loved ones.

Kim activated the car seat mode for Hana, strapping her in.

"We're going to let big brother have fun with your necklace, okay, Hana?" Kim cooed, "As long as he doesn't ask us to do anything too outrageous."

**End**

A/N: Geez, this has been on the backburner for a long time (nearly two years). I wasn't sure where I was going with this, then I was editing my work and re-found Marloe. I thought it would be fun to work with her again. I was going for an episode feel, so that's why the fight's…anti-climatic. Hope you enjoy the popcorn piece.


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